"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
- Anais Nin
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Pee Your Panties
Every now and then I come across a blog that makes me laugh out loud and pee in my panties just a little.
Well, okay, sure. Sometimes I pee in my panties just a little because that’s the sort of shit that happens when you’re forty, have given birth, and run half marathons. But that’s probably also too much information…so…
Once again, thanks to the miracle of Facebook and friends who post excellent stuff, I have stumbled upon a gem. Words by the Glass. This is a blog by a woman who invites readers to “become acquainted with my life long love affair with Lloyd Dobbler and my irrational fear of swing sets,” and warns that you should, “take caution. Some of my crazy might stick in your brain. It sure as hell sticks in mine.”
My kind of gal.
Her post on the 2014 Victoria’s Secret swim catalog - and its arrival in the midst of Girl Scout cookie season - struck a fabulous chord with me. I’ve recently lost 15 lbs. (due to a combination of flu and personal life drama; hell knows, I couldn’t pull that off if I’d actually been trying), and there is still no way you will ever see me in anything in that VS catalog. You know, unless it’s for one of those fundraising things where I run a 5k in a humiliating ensemble for the sake of a good charitable cause. Otherwise, as a public service to humankind - my teenage son chief among y’all - the only way anyone will be seeing my butt crack on the beach is if my sporty L.L. Bean mom-suit rides up.
This, I think, is as it is meant to be.
I’m looking forward to summer as much as anyone. Maybe even more so than anyone, given that recent fifty-degree days with mere glimpses of sunshine inspired me to launder beach towels and dig flip-flops out of the closet. I’m a summer girl at heart, and a kid in my soul.
But my ass? That’s forty years old, and I know it.
Rest assured, I’ll keep the cellulite in its place.